Parents Guild Blog

I’ve never been so aware of and attuned to time’s passage as I am now with little ones around. Their growth and change is so marvelous, so awe-inspiring, it drives me to think about how I can grow and change, become better and realize my dreams, along with them. This week’s Grandma Says article from Growing Child focuses the lens on a rather profound by-product of our children’s growth, those aspects that they can perceive themselves.

THE KIDS, THEY ARE A-CHANGING

My friend Ellen told me this story about her granddaughter who just turned four. Audrey went with her mother to pick up the birthday cake from the supermarket. The bakery attendant asked her how old she was, and Audrey replied, “Four!” showing the requisite number of fingers.

When the woman asked Audrey what she was going to do to celebrate her birthday, Audrey said, “We’re going to the Nutcracker!” Then she lowered her voice and said, confidentially, “I used to call it the Nutcrapper.” Everyone chuckled, and enjoyed her big-girl sense of how she had changed.

We watch them grow. Daily they acquire new skills and knowledge, and right before our eyes, they develop and change. Friends and family remark on the transformations each time they see the youngsters. But what is interesting is to realize that children themselves are aware of their alterations.

Almost from the beginning of their lives, children are striving to move on to the next step, whether it is the furiously squirming infant who is desperate to crawl, or the toddler who demands to do it herself, as she sees her bigger brother do.

There is always a goal, something to work towards, something to change or do better.

Sometimes we talk about pushy parents, those who always want their children to achieve the next step, to move on. Who knows why they are in a rush—is it to get the child to a level of recognizable competence, or is it to affirm that they are doing an acceptable job of parenting?

In any case, pushy parents fail to recognize that their efforts are not needed, that children are highly motivated to keep changing and becoming more competent on their own. Just think what it adds to children’s healthy self-esteem, when they realize, as did Audrey, that they are learning and growing, self-correcting their earlier errors as they go.

Sometimes I think that the fascination that babies hold for preschoolers and school-aged children is their tangible testimony of how humans change, of just how far even a preschooler has evolved from a helpless infant.

The family photo album or videos record the physical growth, in both appearance and ability—be sure to take time to pull these out from time to time.

Do you have a doorway marked with height measurements? This too tells the story of development.

Family stories and reminiscences also serve to highlight the changes, as Dad reminds the child of when he couldn’t even ride the bike with training wheels, let alone zip down the driveway with ease, and Mom points out the ease with which a young reader identifies words which used to be mysterious. The story about Audrey made me realize how frequent and subtle are the changes in our children’s lives, and how each is an occasion for pride and celebration, whether we point it out, or the child herself does.

How has your child changed this week?

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["Grandma Says" is a feature of Growing Child, used by permission of the copyright owner Growing Child, Inc.]